Road Jockey Portraits

When I was a kid I wanted to be an "Army Man".  I played with the classic little, green plastic Army Men constantly and I think my mother still finds them half buried in various places throughout the yard of my childhood home.  A close second on my list of grown up occupations was an interest in pursuing a career as an Interstate Trucker.  The Army Man dream died pretty early when I realized that shooting people might be fun, but being shot might not be.  I also realized that I would never even make it through Boot Camp.  There was no way in hell I could tolerate some asshole yelling insults and threats inches from my face, trying to break me down only to build me back up into a Lean, Mean, Killing Machine.  I mean I barely made it past a fucking Bear Cub before I quit the goddamn Boy Scouts.  It didn't take much longer before the romantic idea of being a trucker faded away.  As I got older, I had all but forgotten this 18-wheeled dream.  I was reminded why the idea of being a trucker lost it's appeal when I ended up working in a warehouse loading and unloading trucks.

It was a busy warehouse where chaos took precedent over all, including trust and integrity.  We affectionately referred to it as The Dominion.  I worked with about nine other dudes and we all came from diverse backgrounds and we all had intense personalities.  Well, all of us except one dude who we called "Soft Serve" because he was about as unique and exciting as soft serve vanilla ice cream.  It was like throwing some guy that got caught jaywalking into a cell with 9 dudes who were in for drug trafficking, car theft and sexual misconduct.

 The danger of working with such a motley crew was secondary only to the fact that we were all driving 8000 lb forklifts in reverse, loaded down with 2500 lb pallets, at full speed through a tiny door from a huge cooler to semi trucks backed onto the loading dock.  The pandemonium of blaring horns, loud music, dangerous vehicles and just about every other industrial hazard one can imagine, was added to by the necessity of dealing with a wide assortment of truckers all day long.  Despite the anarchy of this environment, I managed to take portraits of several of these brave American road warriors.  You can see the complete gallery after the jump.


Although they have been romanticized and portrayed in numerous films like 1977's Smokey and the Bandit and a year later with Every Which Way But Loose,  America's fascination with truckers and trucking didn't end in the 70's.  Proof of our commitment to Long Haulers is the History Channel's current Sunday night offering of Ice Road Truckers.  The drivers on Ice Road Truckers are normal folks if not a little rough around the edges and Cledus "the Snowman" Snow and Philo Beddoe were just good ol' boys with a penchant for animal sidekicks and the occasional truck stop fisticuffs.

The image of truckers hasn't always been popular however.  In 2009 the FBI introduced the Highway Serial Killings Initiative.  This targets Over the Road truckers as suspects in every unsolved murder case in which a victim's body has turned up "along or near highways".  The Oklahoma Bureau of Investigation detected a crime pattern as bodies of murdered women began popping up along the I40 corridor in Oklahoma, Texas, Mississippi and Arkansas.  The FBI developed a database and the red dots on this map indicate where over 500 bodies or remains have been found along our highways and bi-ways over the last 30 years.  It's unfortunate that truckers have been targeted just because these murder victims are surfacing "along or near" their workplace.  It's kind of like making every canoe, kayaking and fishing enthusiast a murder suspect because several victims have been found in lakes and rivers across America.  But then again, it's not too hard to imagine a long haul trucker exercising poor judgment after doing an eight ball off his dashboard and then arguing with some Lot Lizard over the price of blow job. 

Over the road truckers are a special breed indeed.  Despite belonging to an almost mythic fringe of society in which they are sometimes portrayed as less than savory, they are responsible for transporting about 10 billion tons of merchandise, essentially every single commodity we consume, to it's final destination every year.   70% of all freight that is transported annually in this proud nation is done over the road by truckers.  That's 671 billion dollars worth of goods that are transported by truck.  Sure, that's a lot of cheap plastic crap being delivered to Wal-mart but it's also all of our food and medicine. 

Well, enough of this Jaw Jacking Good Buddies.  I didn't mean to go Alligator Station on y'all.  I've had too much of the Ninety Weight tonight and now I'm just looking for a Dress For Sale before I Nod Off.  So let's get this Bucket of Bolts moving and head Like a Raped Ape to the next page.  Be sure to Keep Your Flaps down if you see a City Kitty Handing Out Christmas Cards.  The jump will take you Clean as a Hounds Tooth to the next page where you can Lay An Eye Out for my list of the top 5 truckers of all time, a few more stats and a gallery of my trucker portraits.  Alright, I'm gonna Pull the Big One so Keep em' Between the Ditches and Eighty-Eights around the house.







Despite being prolific (he recorded more than 70 albums during his career), American country music singer Dave Dudley never matched the success he achieved with his hit, "Six Days on the Road" which went gold in 1963.  He was best known for his truck driving songs in the 60's and 70's but also recorded gems like "Day Drinking", "Two Six Packs Away" and "This Night (Ain't Fit For Anything But Drinking)".  I guess it really is his slightly slurred singing style that makes him so great.

Top 5 Truckers of all Time

1.  Jack Burton - "Big Trouble in Little China"

"Honey, I never drive faster than I can see.  Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

 2.  Homer Simpson - "Maximum Homerdrive"  Season 10 Episode 17

                                   

 3.  Large Marge - "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"

4.  Lincoln Hawk - "Over the Top"

5.  The Trucker who picks up Jack Nicholson at the end of "Five Easy Pieces".

 

 

 

 

 

• Truckers spend an average of 11 hours a day driving and up to 14 hours a day involved in other duties.
• They often spend weeks away from home sleeping at truck stops and rest areas.
• In 1995, 5% of truckers tested positive for illicit drugs including pot, coke and methamphetamine.  12% tested positive for over the counter stimulants.
• In 2004, 15% of truckers admitted to dozing at the wheel at least once during the past month.  In that same year, 4% of truck drivers involved in fatal accidents had a B.A. of 0.08% or above.
• In 2002 the Bureau of Labor Statistics ranked trucking 10th in the most dangerous jobs in America with 808 deaths reported that year.
• Truckers represent 12% of all work related deaths and are 5 times more likely to die on the job.
• In 2005 the turnover rate in the trucking industry was 136%.  For every 100 new hires, 136 quit.